Why e-readers are the spawn of satan

Here are just a few of the many thousand reasons why books will always be better than e-readers, which as I’ve just said, are the literal spawn of satan.

  1. Picture this: you’re on a long train journey and decide you want to read, so you pull out your kindle, or whatever other kind of monstrosity you own. You start to get really into it but oh no, just as you get to an intense and exciting chapter the screen goes blank. You forgot to charge it and must now spend the rest of your journey suffering through this heartache. However with a good old paperback there is no charging needed and you can read to your hearts content.

john green sniffing books

2. What happens if you lose it? Because if you lose your e-reader then you lose every book you own and just the thought of losing one of my books makes me want to rip my hair out.

3. Nothing beats the feel and weight of a paperback in your hands, the ability to flick through the crisp pages or the smell of an old book. Especially the luxury of limited edition books with textured covers or shiny page edges.

4. There is a certain satisfaction upon finishing a book, closing it and then placing it on your bookshelf. Which is a euphoric experience that you’re robbed of when using an e-reader.

5. You can’t admire your ever-growing bookshelf or run your fingers against the spines of your beautiful books while staring at a screen that reduces the fundamental essence of a book down to mere words.

brushing fingers

6. I like to spend hours browsing for books in a bookstore but with an e-book you are not surrounded by the comfort of a million tangible books while you explore the shelves in front of you and inevitable leave with your arms full of the books you just couldn’t decide between. No, instead you swipe through pages of books in a monotonous format that won’t bring you half the satisfaction and joy of a bookstore.

7. Reading e-readers in the bath is frankly terrifying because you will probably electrocute yourself or worse, lose all your precious books as your e-reader inevitably dies and never turns back on. Having said that, I must admit that I find reading paperbacks in the bath quite daunting as well, so when I do I am extremely careful not to let the book go anywhere near the water as the crinkled pages of drowned books haunt my dreams.

8.  You can’t get your favourite authors to sign an e-reader but you can cherish their signature forever in a printed book. And when I say forever I mean forever, unlike e-readers which likely won’t be compatible with new technology in ten years time. Books are always there for you.


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